I found my way into this work largely as a result of my own experiences as a young person. As a teenager, I went through a number of my own struggles. Throughout middle school and early high school, I found myself in increasing trouble and conflict both at home and in the classroom. I was angry, rebellious, and looking back, confused, using substances to regulate my emotions and provide a sense of temporary comfort.

When I was 16, my parents sent me to an all-boys boarding school near Charlottesville, Virginia to finish out high school. Although I was upset with their decision at the time, boarding school ultimately turned out to be a really positive experience, allowing me more freedom, individuation, and stronger, deeper friendships. It also steered me away from a path of substance use and partying that has since taken the lives of some of my close middle and high school friends.

When I was 19 and in my first year of college, my whole sense of self and identity was deeply challenged. In the course of a few months through a confluence of events, that rebellious, defiant persona I had built in my early teenage years began to fall apart. Something in me cracked open, and I began to experience a visceral daily fear, anxiety, and uncertainty that had been hiding beneath that mask of anger and rebellion all along. That period of life was an uncomfortable and disorienting time, but it was also an awakening experience that led me to ask some deeper, important questions about myself, my passions, my purpose, and my place in life.

When a friend brought me to my first sweat lodge in 2014, I remember arriving and feeling like I was in the presence of something sacred for the first time in my life. It was also the first time I was able to face all those fears and uncertainties head on, which was simulatenously confronting and relieving. That community and that way of life became home base and provided a way to work through all those inner challenges. I spent the rest of my 20s continuing on that path while also developing my craft as a poet and a songwriter and working a variety of jobs to support myself along the way. During that period, I also got involved with men’s organization Men’s Leadership Alliance and other various men’s group, all centering around counsel-style mens circles that promoted authentic, vulnerable sharing of emotions, deep listening and care, self-responsibility and accountability, and nature connection. I saw the power and the healing that was possible when men were real about themselves and their lives in front of others. I started volunteering in the Summer Boys Rite of Passage Program that MLA hosted, beginning to understand the importance of that work of authenticity, vulnerability, and support starting for men at a young age.

All these experiences, ceremonies, groups, and relationships, alongside my artistic explorations and pursuits, influenced and shaped my values and views of life, meaning, work, community, family, and self. As I gained a little more experience, understanding, and clarity in my own life, I felt called to help other young folks who might be struggling in a similar way to how I had.

In 2021, one of my mentors connected me with a family who wanted to put their son through a rite of passage program. It was my first opportunity to step into the role of mentor and start working one-on-one with teens, and I really loved it. Since then, my passion and vision for this work has grown as I witness its positive impacts and realize the growing need for boys to be supported in the journey towards adolescence and young adulthood. I am humbled and grateful to be able to use some of my own experiences and learning to help guide this next generation of teenage boys towards lives of purpose, meaning, beauty, and connection.

Experience

Since 2014, I’ve had opportunities to work with my own mentors, teachers, and elders to learn, participate, and guide in various contexts that have prepared me to engage in this work with teens. These have included: nature-based Rites of Passage for teenage boys through Men’s Leadership Alliance and Twin Eagles Wilderness School; men’s circles, retreats, and workshops - through MLA; Holistic Leadership Training Program through Men’s Leadership Alliance; family systems/lineage work and psycho-spiritual self-study through Prem Baba and Caminho Do Corocao; and traditional Lakota sweat lodge, vision quest, and sun dance ceremonies.