Rite of Passage

Ritually marking your son's transition from boyhood to adulthood

Rite of Passage for Teenage Boys 2024:

Marking the transition from boyhood to adulthood

Dates: August 1-3, 2024
Location: Private land near Wild Basin, CO
Ages: 13-16
Number of Participants: 3-5 teens/families

Overview: The Rite of Passage for Teenage Boys is a 3 day multi-family event to mark and celebrate your son’s transition from boyhood to adulthood. During the 2.5-3 days that we will spend on private land in Wild Basin, the teens will engage in group activities and discussion circles that relate to this coming-of-age moment, as well as experiencing an overnight solo on the land as their main “crossing the threshold” moment. Parents/families will be involved both in the send-off and reception of the boys, helping to create healthy separation rituals at the start and later on welcoming their newly initiated sons back into the fold of family and community.

The rite of passage is first and foremost for the teens, but it is also a rite of passage for the entire family, as the pre-existing parent-child dynamics must shift on both sides (even if only slightly) to welcome in this new version of their son. This is a rich, beautiful, and sometimes challenging moment in the development of the teen, and having a way to ritually mark it can make for a smoother transition. Helping to facilitate this smooth transition at this critical life stage is my main mission and desire for your son and your family.

The Process

  • Schedule initial meeting with you and your son to share more about the program, meet and hear from you all, and see if it’s a good fit

  • Discuss goals, intentions, desires for your family and your son; any current conflicts or challenges that are present in the family dynamics

  • Decide if your son will engage in the mentorship component (see below for more details)

  • Schedule virtual parent meeting with all parents of teens involved in the ROP to share more details, what to expect, any concerns, questions, desires

  • Schedule pre-passage boys’ fire circle with all rite of passage participants so they can get to know each other beforehand

  • Check-in as needed

To further support this transition to adulthood, I also offer weekly or biweekly mentorship before and after the rite of passage experience to provide continuity to the work we’re doing together. Having time to build trust, rapport, connection, and relationship before entering the threshold space of the passage and meeting at least a few times afterwards to help integrate the experience can help make everything function a little smoother.

This is a separate cost and not included in the ROP cost below. To learn more about the mentorship component, please visit this page here.

Mentorship

ROP 2024 Cost

$750 per participant (sliding scale available)

  • Everything included: initial consultation, parent meeting, pre-ROP boys’ circle; 2.5-3 days of the actual ROP; food for boys while on the land; and check-ins as needed along the way (within reason)

For more information about the program, please reach out to me directly at jaxnmaloney@gmail.com or call me at 925–336–1211.

For more information about Rites of Passage, please read on below.

What is a rite of passage?

A rite of passage is a ceremony that honors and marks an important life event, such as a birth, death, marriage, or transition from childhood to adulthood. Examples specifically relevant to adolescents include: Bar/Bat Mitzvah (Judaism); Confirmation (Christianity); Quinceañera (Mexican); Hanbleceya (Lakota) + many other cultural variations throughout the world. Each culture has different ways of welcoming their youth into adulthood, and often times, there are different protocols in place for men and women.

Why rites of passage?

Life brings us many challenges we don't expect and can't prepare for. Our ability to face those challenges and move through them is directly correlated to the capacity we've developed for difficulty and discomfort, along with the strength of our connection to life. Cultures all over the world have recognized this and consciously helped prepare young men for these inevitabilities by exposing them to ritualistic challenges that build capability, self-confidence, self-knowledge, and purpose. It is through the completion of these challenges that the boys face their own fear, step through them, and are welcomed into the world of adulthood.

We live in a culture that for the most part does not have these clear rites of passages for young men. This is leaving many young men feeling lost about their purpose, emotionally and psychologically underdeveloped, and largely disconnected from themselves, others, and the world around them. The loss is massive, as it robs the rest of us of the unique gifts and contributions that hide in the hearts of these men. 

My main mission is to actively help usher boys into adulthood and awaken these gifts. I want them to have the best chance of living out a beautiful life and becoming a generative, inspiring force in our communities. We need it. 

Details

Ideally, each teen’s weekly mentorship sessions would culminate in a formal rite of passage to mark this important transition from boyhood to adulthood. That being said, the rite of passage can be organized as its own, separate event. The “main event” is an overnight solo in the woods while I (and other volunteers or returning ROP participants) tend a fire close by. The needs and dynamics of each family can be quite unique and varying for this ceremony, but there are essentially three stages that help facilitate a clean and clear transition for everybody:

1. Separation: Opening circle, presentation of teen to community; announcement of what is about to happen (can be as big or small as necessary); ritual separation from mother and father and handing off to guide
2. Initiation: Apex point, what everything has been working towards; this is where the teen is faced with a challenge they must overcome; moving through physical/mental discomfort to discover inner strength and capability (i.e. overnight solo in the woods with guide/group tending a fire nearby)
3. Integration/Incorporation: Back in the fold. New but different. Received by family, friends, community members; opportunity for teen to share his story about the challenges he faced and overcame; chance to be witnessed, seen, affirmed by loved ones. Embodying what was experienced in that solo time on the mountain

Reach out if you’re interested in learning more or talking about a rite of passage for your son for Spring/Summer 2024.